Very Personal Notes: A Girl From The Bride of Sands (1)

To Write or Not To Write?!

I love writing and sharing how I feel and think. I also love to feel and think. For when I feel, I become alive and when I think I become aware of my existence and when I share all that I become immortal and I expand beyond the limitation of my body. 

I did it for the joy it brought to me, then joy alone was no longer enough to write. I started having that sense of time flying, that the days of my life no matter how many remaining are slipping from my hands and as they slip, I realised how valuable they are and as they are of such value, I could not waste them without creating a meaning and adding a value from the moments of my life. I had two choices, either to stop writing for joy or to start writing for meaning and with that I could continue to enjoy the writing process.

It then happened to become very challenging to write. If I am writing for value, what is valuable there that I have to say and share? What could someone who did not create much YET in this world share with others that could make their lives better or their hearts lighter?!

I asked myself many times and I continued to shy away from writing. I have started many scripts but I finished none of them because in the middle of my writing, I would doubt myself, and my writings, and then I lose the motivation. My father and mother told me endlessly that I should write a book. My friends encouraged me to do so and promised that they would read it. One told me that it makes her happy to read my short notes on Social media and another said that it gives her hope to read my words. I promised myself before not to write anything that I do not feel and believe on social media. “My Facebook page is my heart open to the world” I told once. It happened that for that very same reason I have deactivated my page many times, because as much as I get the courage to write and share, at times I feel shy, vulnerable and just want to hide. This was another challenge to writing a book. When it is out there, I could not get it back, I told myself. Another challenge was that I always write the truth as I see it, full and pure. But what if that truth hurts someone else?! What if my truth is not what someone else sees it?! I then told myself. I will write my truth, fully and sincerely and then I will edit to remove any word and comment that could hurt someone else because I am writing my story to help not to harm!

What value could I add with my writing? Saturday the 5^th of June 2021. I spent more than half of the day asking myself about how much value I am adding to the world and how could I add more value?!

I took my notebook and a pen and I have written some of the skills that I have especially those that I enjoy doing. Writing came first. And hence it must become the number one thing I add value with! I told myself as I remembered Ahmed Emara, one of the famous Egyptian psychologists who said in one of his teaching videos “your currency is the thing that you like to do even if you are not paid for!” What more than writing ?! I asked myself with the answer in the question. Photography comes second. And though I love my current job, the joy, peace and comfort with no worries, comes to me from writing and from capturing the beauty of nature and human art.

You do not have an extra-ordinary story! That was the next obstacle to my writing. Then I remembered, I do not have to be an important person to write. I am an ordinary person and I am writing for ordinary people. Most of the world is of ordinary people. I am writing for any ordinary person to remind her or him that an ordinary person can still live a life of meaning and contribution. As long as one of us is doing the best of that they could do and is trying to do things the best way they could ever be done, one of us has something to share. I written it down in my notebook:

Very personal notes:

1. A girl from the bride of sands: Birth to Cambridge
2. I want to help ordinary people to find their way in the world.
3. I want to help people not feel alone in their journey when they see someone like them is creating their path to a dream no matter how far and big the dream is
4. I want to help people to know that one could get where she/he wants and be whatever she/he wants.
5. *********
6. *********

The next two titles shall be shared in another time.

This is the story of the day I became serious about writing my book.

And my story, that of a very ordinary girl follows…

I write it with love 🙂