Moving forwards!
Given that COVID19 cases are on the rise, we have been advised to work from home when we can and since all I had to do today is either paperwork or calling patients, working at home it was!
There is something good about working from home. You save time by not having to dress up or travel to work. I managed hence to sleep till relatively late and still get a shower, dress (in black loose wide trousers with a wine-coloured T-shirt, pulling my hair up with a band and not having to worry about having a scarf on! (Bonus: no masks either!)), get my warm lemon and honey drink and peacefully doing my morning prayers on time. By 07:40 I was on for work with the first e-mail read after I have already written the plan for the day! Boring details?!
Just before midday I got a virtual occurrence that made me realise that I have lost someone forever (interesting, it is no longer real life! Let us wait to see what happens when the metaverse arrives! And since I am at work, of course not on social media). I was shaking for a minute and I had to hold my heart. I then recollected myself since I am supposed to be working and respond to that message and since the Pomodoro was counting (Forest application! Very useful for when you are working at home to keep track and focus and avoid using your phone. And by the way after certain number of points a real tree would be planted based on your work! Awesome! And for courtesy, I first got to know it from a tweet of a guy working at Cambridge University. His name is Tyler Shores. If you live in Cambridge and are interested in intellectual stuff and IT stuff, you will likely find it useful to follow his account!).
https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/forest-your-focus-motivation/id866450515
Where have I been?! Yes, I was telling you about my heartbreak! (It does not have to be romantic by the way!). I continued to work until my 5 minutes-break for praying and when I got on my praying mat and as soon as I finished praying I found myself crying. Not sure if that was of grief, or loss, or embarrassment or of feeling that I was so stupid! It was more painful because on the exact same date a couple of years back the very same person made me feel that I have seen a glimpse of a soul like mine or what my future self would be like! “How ironic!” I told myself. 2 years ago I did not know that the same person would make me cry today! Maybe one day I will be able to tell the story less vaguely and anonymously but I wanted to share that there was pain today! But, you know what? I moved on!
We had a meeting on zoom and I forgot about it all. It is good to see other people from work to remember that you are not living in a dream. I think if someone lives on their own for awhile with no real human contact they could easily mix up their real life with a dream-state during sleep since no one could provide proof to them that life is real and that one is real!
After the meeting I could within 20 min get something for a meal and eat it while still looking some emails and returning back to work with more focus no minute later! Super-time saving! No distances to cross or distractions!
Back to work. I had to respond to a complaint that I yet need to understand why it was put in the first place but it was kind of not impossible to respond to since we have actually done everything right and I had everything documented to prove! And of course that the patient is safe and with no harm.
I finished work at 17:30. I did my prayers and decided that I want to move! I did need to go out. I was satisfied about the amount of work done, I was not exhausted and I needed to clear my thoughts. Dolly was singing and I did not prevent myself from moving with her music and voice given that I could release some of “the negative energy” as Dr Ahmed Emara says. This is a famous modern psychologist from Egypt. He was right! I felt better after that and I did not waste time since I managed to change my clothes and be on the move. I thought about inviting my neighbour to join me for the walk but I remembered that i did not want to talk and I wanted to get lost in my own thoughts! (It did not happen in the end! In that journey I have talked to my sister, my mum and my friend! Guilty only of calling my sister! 😅).
I took the bus and was pleased to see a driver I am familiar with. He is one of the drivers that I like to see. He is Chinese in origin. He is both friendly and serious and gives the feeling of competence, trust and safety! I know, I know, I do not know anything about him but I think one could sense what people are even if you do not know the details of their lives. It takes practice. (I am hoping I am not very wrong!).
I got to the town centre and walked to the river. It was quiet there. Yet all of a sudden a man appeared rowing out from beneath the bridge as I stood in the centre of the rails looking at the water, light and darkness. He was so quick that by the time I got my phone to take a shot he was far beyond a clear view. Another two followed and a third followed later.
I walked down the bridge and found one of the benches looking into the river. I told myself I want to do something that I did not do before. I wanted to sit outside on a bench with my feet up and my legs crossed (yoga position). A simple thing it sounds but at some point I was so strict with myself and what I called to be appropriate behaviour might have been a little bit military-strict! But I am all for doing whatever I wish for these days! I put my shoes up beside me on the bench to make sure that no insect would crawl inside as I am lost looking into the river. The rowers passed at least twice through that spot. Slower this time followed by a few swans!
I decided to take my kindle out of my pocket and start reading Tim Ferris’s 4 hour workweek. By the way, I have not finished week 1’s January book yet but I have decided that I will move forward and start whatever I plan to do with no going back if the unfinished task is not time critical. I could still read it at the background while I am reading the rest of the books without feeling guilt. Tim Ferris was telling us about how to spread our retirement through the years rather than waiting till the end! It makes sense!
It is 19:00. I need to start walking back to make it on time for sorting other stuff and sleeping on time! As I walked by Côte brasserie, it was empty, quiet and looked romantic and warm with the candles lit. The taste of the chocolate fondant came to my mouth and I have told myself “why not!” I delved in “Table for one, please!”. I got to choose where I sit with plenty of options. I picked a warm comfortable corner with a view to the outside. I apologised that I am only going for the pudding (I do not think there was space for more!). I enjoyed it while reading. People started to come in and that was a prompt for me to leave and go home.
It was drizzling so I pulled the top of my blue raincoat on my head as I walked to the bus stop. My mum convinced me that it is not a good idea to walk at this time. On my way to that a few people were running in orange shirts. I think they are in kind of a race. I admired their stamina!
Regardless of everything happening in the world, you have the choice of how to make your own world or how to perceive it.
Good night! 🙂
shetellsastory 