Anthropocene

Arrived at work as planned one hour earlier, paperwork, clinic, post-clinic case discussion, quick break, meeting until 6pm.

Fast forwarding my day with brief notes:

Clinic: joined by an enthusiastic junior doctor. It is a perfect combination to take care of someone while teaching another. We had a variety of case presentations of adrenal disease, thyroid disease, hypogonadism, and disorders of calcium. Every person of them had their unique situation that made the approach to the same disease different. Everyone has a story that if I write them all I could end with a most valuable encyclopaedia of human lives but bound by confidentiality, the stories will never cross beyond the wall of my clinic room.

Post-clinic: It is very awe-inspiring to see a junior colleague performs very well and takes very well of your patients and it is very rewarding to let them know how good they are!

Always the rule for me at work, home or the street: If I see something good, I could not but point it to the person. That is how I hope to always be!

Paperwork: I always need music to make it fun!

After the meeting, I refreshed my being and headed to West court in Jesus college where the intellectual forum was hosting an evening with the poet “Sundeep Sen”. I cannot recall the last time I have been to an event that had nothing to do with getting better in life or at work and everything to do with exploring what is else in the world. I had no expectations but found it amusing that I will go to listen to a poet reading his poems from his book. It was good that I have honoured the registration because the event has brought ideas to my mind. It was creative to express the concerns about climate change poetically and to be able just to be! That is what I felt about the poet. Minute things matter to him. He captures them with words and in pictures, experiencing the world as a joyful child or a wise monk and sharing his view of the world with others.

A few of the poet’s words stopped me and I choose to share two phrases with you:

Climate refugee! Let this sink. I do not need to say more!

Silence is white! I wondered that I would see it as black as silence is nothingness. I wanted to ask him why he made that choice but I hesitated given that I am black and I expected the question being misunderstood as about race not art. But a man from the audience has asked my question. “White has all the colours in it!” A simple answer from Sundeep and to the point.

I walked to the bus stop and my mother called me as I stood waiting for the bus. She updated me about her day and then we started talking about a programme we have watched. Earlier in the very first hours of the morning (or say after midnight) I watched a video sent by my brother about people who had near death experiences (those who returned). They seem to all agree about the beauty of the other side, the absence of division between people and how trivial are the materials of our current world if not used to make a difference to humanity!

I need to sleep! Good night!

On the phone

I went to work one hour before the start of my clinic to do some paperwork and review the list of patients, and allocate them for appropriate level of review. With COVID19 affecting how we perform medicine I had a mixture of virtual and in-person reviews. Some virtual reviews were decided by the clinician (us) and others were complete patient’s choice given that no one these days would like to be exposed unnecessarily to the virus!

Various age groups and different needs are represented in the clinic which makes it enjoyable. I enjoy all my consultations (normally – exception of 3 in my whole 11 years of NHS experience) but some of them are exceptionally amusing to me. I had a lady today telling me on the phone the story of all the related and unrelated symptoms (thankfully, given that some of her symptoms could be related to an undiagnosed cancer that I managed now to highlight to her responsible doctor to review) in a funny way that we both ended laughing at some points and she sealed the call with a prayer for me that lifted my heart up “I wish you health, wealth and happiness!”. She did not see me but I could feel my furthest teeth exposed with a big smile given that it is almost exactly what I did write as what I wish for myself this year and the years to come “Healthy, wealthy and free!”. I have written it and saved it as a wallpaper for my mobile screen and printed it and pinned it to my vision board (courtesy to my sister and Jack Canfield for convincing me that a vision board is one of the ways forward!).

Another call with a father and his son, the son being the patient. I remember when I saw them a few weeks back. I loved the bond between them and saw it as exceptional given that the boy is a teenager at an age that make him revolutionary. So concerned about his son, I had the privilege to reassure them both. One of the joys of doing medicine is having the knowledge and skills to help people get better and having the information and mean to reassure people. And one of my most pleasurable games I play with myself is trying to make the patient leave the room happier, more comfortable and reassured compared to before they come in. It brings me and my patients joy and feeling of reward!

But, I do admit that I like to see people in person and to bond with them. And to see their story told without words. You can tell a lot by the way a person walks into a room. Do they look happy and comfortable? Are they worried and concerned? Did they have a good night sleep? Are they able to hold themselves up or are they needing aid? How much could they do for themselves? Do they care about their appearance? Do they need help? Do they have the help with them? And when you speak to them in person you could see if they understand you and if they are comfortable with what you say. You can of course as well make diagnoses easier and more readily than talking on a phone or via a video.

Many other patients and I was very lucky that they were all grateful and left the room happier.

I had to go through the cases seen by my junior colleague and discuss with her the plans before I review another patient whom I had to call the evening before to come urgently for a review, a blood test and an electrocardiogram. I am so lucky to be working in this place because all people I work with are helpful and the facility makes it simpler to give the best we can to our patients. Satisfied with what all offered today, I finished the clinic stress-free before joining a joint meeting from all our clinics to discuss difficult and interesting cases.

I had a break that enabled me to do my prayers and bring some food to the office before I join my nurse colleague to review results of another 35 patients. My colleague was an angel sent to me to relieve my workload given that I could review the notes of many patients and make decisions about these patients in less than 2 hours instead of me going through only a few and doing their letters for the same time. This session has enabled us to prioritise and identify patients requiring further reviews.

It is just after 5, we are still in the meeting but my phone started ringing. My mother calling and some friends sending messages needing to talk. I joked with my colleague “somehow it seems that I am a very important person today”. I promised to call later.

My planned evening reading did not take place since my time was spent on phone with family and friends (not guilty of making some of the call). I must say I multi-tasked. Organised my place, prepared my meal, and ate it while on phone and later with the last call just as I climbed into my bed allowing me to apply the lotion on my skin while I talk with a friend who is a doctor in another hospital telling me about her difficult but also funny week. She is a dear friend and I might one day tell some of our shared stories.

I think this is enough for tonight! I did not tell the whole story of the day but at the end I am happy and fulfilled!

Good night and I wish you sweet dreams!

A very normal day!

The alarm woke me up at 5am sharp. I stood and turned it off and returned to bed! I gave myself an excuse that I was stressed about a relative who is sick in another country and was contacted to support and provide guidance about management during the night and the early hours of the morning. For some reason I recently find myself with less reserve to take even minor trauma without tensing my muscles and speeding my heartbeats. I am so aware of my mortality and the mortality of those around me and it makes me question the meaning of life and expect anything!

I did not get up until after 6am to get ready for an online meeting at half past seven before I get ready for work. I was tempted to work from home given that I have only administrative work to do however I remembered that I have promised my junior colleague to review a patient with him today and another colleague to go for coffee with her to celebrate her joining our team.

Rushing to do things and taking my sealed mug of hot chocolate I missed the bus by a fraction of a second as I saw it depart before me. I smiled though since this means I will have to run to the nearest station since thankfully the bus now has a mini tour before it returns back to a near stop at a 5min walk (or run! 😅) distance. Sort of an exercise I tell myself! I was though comfortable and not stressed at all and did not even think about what if I miss it there as well. Lucky enough I was just fast enough to catch up with the bus and delightfully shown my NHS card since “hey! We are so lucky these days, NHS workers have a whole month of free transport this Jan 2022!”. I do not know who thought about it but it is a very kind and encouraging gesture!

I reached my desk in time to set my PC on and start my journey through the e-mails and the electronic records of patients. I had the office to myself most of the time and with the curtains down I got even the privacy to have a brief dance of joy after each hour of work celebrating the little achievement and telling myself “I hope that no one will suddenly enter the office and find me sillily dancing and ruining my prestige! Not that I claim any! 😅🤭”.

It was a good working day not to bore you with more details about it.

Arriving home, getting clean and refreshed, doing my prayers and setting to cook some food whilst speaking to my sister on the phone before she leaves for a lesson. I got things in the oven and rushed to start “Getting things done” while my food is being cooked! I did not get the chance to do so yesterday and earlier today. I find the author’s way of writing interesting, different and easy to read. First note registered (or re-registered since I have already read about it before):

“if something takes less than 2 min to do, do it immediately and do not pile it for later!”

A very sensible advice I tell myself. He went on to tell us that his book is valid for anytime and is adaptable to changes in technology. I kind of believe him from the first pages and I cannot wait to learn more!

I guess you figured out that I do not have much to talk about apart from my boring diary entry! I promised myself to keep the blog going regardless and I shall do so even if it meant that at times I am just reporting my day. I promise that from time to time I will share something useful and interesting! Good night!

Accountability note: failed the 5am start this morning but tomorrow is another day!

Personal vs professional

Back to work today and it was good to see most people and chat between clinics on the go to briefly see how everyone is doing. But it brings me always that question of how much of personal life you could reveal and if there is a division between personal and professional life? And if it is authentic to be different persons between work and outside of work?

I spend most of my days at work and hence I know that most of my life is being spent at work. Work is very personal to me and I care deeply and honestly about people at work but as I climb the ladder, I realise that I have to have boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. And whilst for most of my working life I considered people at work to be family, I realise that it should not be that way. Even if I feel safe to be that way, how could I be sure that I am not making someone else uncomfortable by caring too much or being too friendly (genuinely)?

I believe the topic needs to be dug a bit deeper but I am too tired to do it today and have other things to catch up with before I sleep!

Accountability note: I made it for day 1 by waking up at 5am and following my planned routine (with slight modulations)

Last day of the holiday! (A brief note on learning productivity)

Today is the last day of my holiday with tomorrow being the actual start of the year of work. I decided to stay late in bed before getting up to re-organise my things and clean my place since I realise that from tomorrow, I will be accountable to make sure that I am living my life to the fullest potential. This will mean that I will have now to practise what I have learnt from all the personal development books I have read and YouTube videos I have watched. Aware that I will have to build the habits gradually before stacking them I needed to choose a habit to start with the year and give each month of my year a theme with 3monthly reviews of the way ahead for 2022 to ensure that I am on track. At the background, I am thinking as well about my vision for my life given that for the rest of my life what I do each year is becoming more and more important (and hence in the month, the week and the day)

One of the things that I have been trying to do is to wake up consistently at 5am but have not been successful. I know for sure that if I want to get more hours in my day, there is no way better than waking up early at the same time and going to bed at night at the same time every day. Tomorrow, I will start, and I will keep you updated as an accountability partner about my progress in this habit. My guide is the 5am Club from Robin Sharma. The morning routine will be a helpful start but for me the breakdown of that routine will be at three 10 minutes tasks for 30 minutes, rather than 20minutes for one hour. A brief description of the 5am club routine is in the linked video.

As I climb the ladder in my career, I am more aware that I have more responsibility and time management is becoming more important than ever. For that I know that I must be more productive and more efficient if this year is to be more successful than the one before. I could not find a better place to start from than starting a productivity course on http://www.skillshare.com by Ali Abdaal. He also has a very useful YouTube channel where I have started following him first before joining http://www.skillshare.com to complete his productivity course (2hours 38 minutes) and one hour down the line in the course I am finding it extremely useful, and I do highly recommend the course since he has summed up most of the productivity books available in less than 3 hours. I also recommend following him in his channel and website if you are interested in learning about becoming a millionaire from online business and about improving your life in general.

https://skl.sh/32IJ37y

https://www.skillshare.com

My January month is about Productivity.

And following the course I mentioned above, I am going to read one productivity book a week for this month. 3 out of these books I have been procrastinating on reading, but I have picked one of them from my library today to start in the morning.

January Week1: Getting things done by David Allen

January Week2: The Four-Hour workweek by Tim Ferriss

January Week3: Deep Work by Cal Newport

January Week4: Make time by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky

Let me hope that I will stick with my plans!

I wish you a happy year!

Afternoon tea at Parker’s Tavern

Since my holidays plans for Christmas and the new year had changed in the last minutes, I had to plan for a good time before returning to work. One of the things I hoped to do in Cambridge is to visit the Parker’s Tavern restaurant. The thought was initially for dinner however the plan switched for an afternoon tea. Being on my own did not stop me from booking a table for two planning to find company thereafter. A friend from work delightfully agreed to join me for the experience.

The Parker’s Tavern is a restaurant that has been recently renovated in 2017 by the designer Martin Brudnizki and reopened in 2018. Originally, it was opened back in 1834 and serves since for the university Arms Hotel visitors.

While tea dates to more than 6000 years in China, and was brought to England in the 17^th century, the concept of afternoon tea was not known until the 19^th century when it was invented first by the 7^th Duchess of Bedford, Anna as a bridging snack between meals around 4 o’clock in the afternoon. In the afternoon tea, you expect to have tea (or coffee in the modern era) with a range of sandwiches, cakes, pastries, and scones served with cream and jam. 

I must say, it is a good way to have a stress-free afternoon with friends.

Highly recommended if not already experienced.

And before I leave you tonight, I must add that, tea in my home country Sudan is served early in the morning with milk and sugar (sometimes with added herbs like cinnamon, clove, mint, or cardamom) and biscuits and sometimes home-made pastries. Also, in the afternoon after dinner, some families have black tea served with post meal chats (they refer to it rather as red tea!).

https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Afternoon-Tea/

https://parkerstavern.com/

Muddy!

One of my new-year’s goals is to meet as many people as I can. Since the pandemic, I have developed this thirst for knowing people, meeting with them, and learning about them. As a socialised introvert, I find this intriguing, but it did happen to me.

I signed up for a group walk in a local meetup group and we have met today at 1pm at Mill Lane. We walked from Mill Lane, through Coe Fen to Grantchester and Trumpington meadow, passing by Byrons pool before reaching back to our departure point.

We were a mixed group of about 30 men and women from different parts of the world living in Cambridge for various times. One lady has lived all her 41 years of being, another man raised in Cambridge, left to places around the world and returned home. Someone living here for years originally from Morocco, another from Turkey and a third from Russia. Other ladies I talked to but did not get the chance to learn their stories and many more whom I did not get to speak to. All joined by a desire to walk and meet people and love for Cambridge. We have all agreed that Cambridge is the place to live in; peaceful, cosmopolitan, mixed rural and urban qualities, and not far from London. I encourage you to come here too!

https://www.meetup.com/Thirsties/

Gratitude

365 days..

Day7: Gratitude

This year has been tough on many people. The pandemic, the isolation, the deaths, travel disruptions, delayed plans and collective trauma. However, we are blessed to be alive, blessed to learn the importance of people in our lives, blessed to learn the importance of our health and that happiness and joy are in things that money could not buy.

I have been showered by kindness from many people and embraced (no contact) with love that I trust that the world is a good place to be in and I remain hopeful despite the suffering in many parts of the world including my home country Sudan.

I would probably be asleep at the time (with age you realise that sleep is more important than celebration! 😅) but I wish you all health, wealth, joy and love and a very happy new year! 🙂

PS. And I leave you with some wisdom from Adam Grant to take care of yourself!

Pressure

It seems that the idea of counting the days makes me uncomfortably aware of how much time is slipping from my hands and how short the day is and so the week, the month and the year and one’s whole life! 

Most of my life so far I have been aware of what I want and how I want to achieve it and when I do not know the answer I usually know where to find it. However, since I achieved what I planned to achieve as first step in my life (and I am so ever grateful for that), I find myself challenged by so many more questions:

What is next?

What makes me truly happy?

What is the meaning of life?

What is the right path to take?

How could I spend the rest of time remaining in my life in a way that is valuable and not wasteful?

I have read so many personal development books that I know enough of what I should do and how I should do it but I find myself in some days (and today is one of them) questioning about if the choices I make are the choices that would make me satisfied when I am in my deathbed and when I cross to the next life.

So many thoughts were crossing my mind that I had to stop and breathe!

I know that I want to be happy 

I know that freedom and health are some of the top values

I know that family and friends make life worthy and I am grateful for them

I know that kindness is one of the basics in anyone’s behaviour 

I know that honesty, truthfulness and integrity are no brainer!

I know that I need to live my now

I know that I should be satisfied by doing my part no matter how little it looks to me in making the world a better place 

I know that I need to stop thinking and just live and be and this is last part I find hard to follow!

I woke up with all those thoughts in my mind and I carried them with me through the day. Then I had to stop myself and tell her like a little girl to be kind to me. To take one step at a time. I congratulated her for feeding me, for being kind to those I met today, and even for just changing the bedsheet and I treated her with lavender. 

I put my head on the bed now and I know that I promised myself today to turn off my phone by 10pm and fall asleep with no guilt knowing that if I sleep this night well and wake up early in the morning, I would be ahead in the game and  will be in a better position to make tomorrow count. I will.

I will though share that despite my dark thoughts today was a good day for me. In the first hours of the morning my doorbell went off unexpectedly and I found a man handing me a flowers’ box. Completely unable to predict who sent it I opened it before I climb the stairs. A very dear friend of mine has been very thoughtful and lovingly sent me the flowers! Tears of joy wet my face and I knew that if I do not ever learn what is my life’s  purpose, I know that I want to be someone like her who would send flowers to a friend and make them smile and lighten their hearts with love!

Good night! And thank you!

Self-care

The best thing about being off work is that you could sway the plan of the day as you wish. The half-day of work plan changed to half day of rest and binge watching of YouTube videos before I head to the beauty salon for some planned self-care. A rare occurrence given that time is scarce when one is working (or so I tell myself). 

A facial, hands treatment and a pedicure! While my feet were pampered and as the therapist left me for a few moments to relax(spoiled?!) I could not help myself but looking up the history of pedicure.

2400BC – first report in Ancient Egypt 

425BC – new design of skin scrapers in ancient Greece

1400s – Special pastes with some weird ingredients (swine dung and calf’s intestines!) in Medieval Europe

1800s – pedicure as a surgical care of the feet in Europe

(Facial treatments reported 6000 years ago in Ancient Egypt)

Anyway, though I enjoyed the feet and hands care, I do not think I would repeat it and would rather do at home, but the facial gets 5stars! 

I could not resist a 3-miles walk back home since I was in a good mood and had well-rested feet, but I side-tracked to a shop that was still open to look for a skirt. I have been looking for a suitable one for 3 months now, but this time was not successful either. However, I met a friend in the shop unexpectedly and had a quick chat. I was very pleased to see her however, I have not yet gotten used to no contact salutation despite 2 years of COVID19!

The smell of food in Mill Road was irresistible but I tamed myself to reach home for a home-made supper. That had to wait though since it was time for prayers, and I promised myself to go to the mosque for that. 

I usually go in and come out communicating only with God (Please, do not laugh if you do not believe in one!) apart from brief salutes of courtesy since I find myself in a state of beautiful trance that I do not like to disturb. This time though the visit was made more special by a little girl! 

A 4 year or so old child stood by my side as the Prayers were called for. She looked up at me with beautiful black eyes and a dazzling smile that my heart skipped a beat for her! I smiled back silently and wished that I did not have the mask on my face as she really deserve to see that! She understood my eyes I guess though (or so I imagined!). She sweetly followed my moves during the prayers and at the end I could not but ask her 

“What’s your name?” 

“Nora” She replied. 

“You are beautiful, and I wish to have a girl like you one day!” I said.

She smiled and I returned to my final prayers before she walks up and leave to her dad. I told myself, I would adopt such a girl gladly with closed eyes! 

The end of the visit to the mosque was a bit sad since they announced the death of a man I do not know, and we prayed for his soul before we depart.

I left the mosque, and a cool breeze of air kissed my cheeks drawing a smile on my lips as I looked up to the sky and headed home. The thought of Nora remained with me!

I decided to see a film while I prepare and eat my supper and despite my best (or some) efforts to avoid romance (I do not want any ideas to distract my mind! 🙂 ), I played “Lost Christmas” on BBC iPlayer. Not the best choice it was but I admit it captured my attention enough to continue seeing beyond supper! 

The man has acted very well that I could feel his pain as he mourned his breakup on Christmas Eve from his high-school sweetheart and girlfriend of so many years when she rejected his ring 

“I love you, but I am not in love with you!” She said.

It was too cold that it made me question relationships and thank Allah that I never had the courage to have one! The end was not too bad, and the lesson was: “One person is capable of reviving a room full of sad people and inspiring happiness. And music makes moments worthy of living”!

PS. I hope I do not regret that I am writing this 365 days diary live! Too many unnecessary details but I am enjoying it! 🙂 https://www.footlogix.com/Resources/Blog/The-History-Of-Pedicures